Am I stupid?

It's a good question, isn't it? I remember someone said "you're stupid" to me because I don't know about something. Yeah, yeah, whatever, you smartass. Oh, did you know that I think you're stupid? Oh, you don't, then, are you stupid by any chance?

Usually, stupid is used when
1. People don't know about something, so others call them stupid.
2. People can't understand about something, or slow to grasp the idea, so others call them stupid.
3. People can't do something that others can, so those others call them stupid.
4. Just for fun.
So, am I stupid?

~If by stupid, one means "knowing less than one does not know" that is there are more things I don't know than things I know. Then I am stupid, and so is everyone. Did you know that when you type "I am extremely" in Google search, you'll get racist suggestions. Did you know that in English every continent starts and ends with the same letter? (What the hell were those?). There are just things I don't know, no matters what I do. Study? The more I study, I realise there are more things I don't know and if I am stupid because I don't know, doesn't that mean the more I study, the stupider I become? An additional reason for me to not study and be lazy.

~If by stupid, one means "I can't comprehend about something", no doubt, I am stupid. No further explanation needed I think. I can't understand why you call me stupid because something doesn't make sense to me, so I guess I am stupid by your definition. Do you think you can understand everything in this world? Take your time then. Good luck.

~If by stupid, one means "I can't do things that most of you can", you can put me in your "list of stupid people you know". Since all of you can do it and are smart, but I'm the only one here that can't and stupid. You're the common, and I'm the unique. I'm stupid, but the winner here. There is only one stupid and so many smart asses? I'm a rare, endangered species. There will be soon conservation law for me. You'll have to protect me. What? I admit I'm stupid, but you're not happy with that. What else do you want from me?

~If I do something that all of you can't understand or don't even bother trying to know why I did that, but like to offer a "that's stupid" or "you're stupid" comment, then I humbly accept your kind offer. You know, something like turning down the scholarship from a prestigious university. I know, stupid yeah? Don't you know why I'm so stupid? Because apparently, I got a job offer from overseas company and not only that, they agree to pay for my tuition fee for studying in that country university. (That's an example, not a true story, I'm too dumb to be able to get scholarship anyway). Yeah, just because you don't bother asking, I'm stupid.

~If it's just for fun, obviously I don't mind you call me stupid. I'm stupid, you're stupid, so what? Let the smarts do the thinking, they invent iphone, laptops, new mobile phones, fast internet or whatever. Let them be, and let us be the ones who enjoy. Just because they invent iphone, doesn't mean they get a better iphone than we do. They get paid more than we do? Don't worry, just because they get paid 10 times more than we do, doesn't mean they can eat 30 meals per day or have 120 hours per day to play games or travel to 10 places at the same time or have 10 spouses or wear 10 shirts and trousers with a ring on each finger. Agree?

I'm stupid because I don't know, understand, or able to do something. Then, I'm stupid because most of the people don't understand what I'm trying to do. Next, because others can't understand why I'm doing the stupid thing, they're stupid as well (point number 2). That forms a stupid cycle, a cycle where because I'm stupid, you're stupid and because you're stupid, I'm stupid. Long story short, I'm indeed stupid. Why? Thinking normally, it's because I met all the criteria above. Brilliantly otherwise, the reason is "I need to write a freaking long article to tell you I'm stupid".

Read more >>

Life And (not my) Choices

I believe that life is about choices I have to choose. Every choice I choose will lead me to other choices and so on. But that's not always true, because I don't always get to choose. Sometimes, there is no other way, sometimes, I'm forced to, sometimes, others choose for me, sometimes, I don't want to choose at all. Oh yeah, sometimes, the almighty "You Know Who" is the chooser. (Hey, I try to be fair here, every religion has different names for the almighty "You Know Who", just to be clear, I'm not talking about you, in case you're not that literate)

The first thing that I didn't have the chance to raise up my voice was "Where will I be born", I also couldn't choose what time (my birthday), by whom (my parents), neither my name. Name, yeah, I will carry this name, from the day I was born, until the end of my life, it's a big thing, but I had no choice. Imagine if my name's "Dick Face", and I someday be the director of a giant company. "Hello, my name is "Dick Face", the director of this company and your new boss" (hahaha, sorry, no offence intended). Oh, I can't pick my traits either, if I could, I'd be a "heartless creative genius with unbelievable reasoning ability and lives this life for the sake of nothing but wasting time" (boring . . .)

Then next, my parents, and so did your parents (maybe) were sick of us running wild everywhere while they were working. So they put us in school, "the place where all the kids are gathered together and supervised by some special assigned adults called teachers", so they didn't have to watch us and able to get their jobs done.

Many years ago, when the world weren't as advanced as now, people went into workplace early in their lives. There was really nothing much to learn, school was short, only a few of them complete a degree from university. Now? No, complicated stuff are more than ever, people need more training time, a degree from university is common now, that means, most people at least are 20++ years old before they get into workplace. Do we really need that much time? Not really, but yeah, we need to wait for our brains to be developed before we are able to comprehend those complicated stuff (You won't try to teach analysis, algebra, statistic, and matrix to a 9 years old kid, will you? Unless that kid is a genius). So maybe that's why we were fed meaningless facts to memorise at school, while waiting for the brains to be developed. Yep, rather than letting us run wild everywhere and distract the adults from doing their jobs, they kept us in school, memorising meaningless facts. I didn’t have the choice to skip remembering those meaningless facts. I was forced and made to memorise them. (Ugh... falling asleep, boring!!)

Now, let see, if I will get to choose what I will be after I graduate (I don't want to choose, really), and who I will spend the rest of my life with. . (zzz . . . fell asleep)

Read more >>

Only Need One!

Back then, when I was a child, I was wondering about something. To be a president candidate, I'm pretty sure that one has to be very competent. My country always has so many president candidates, but only one will be elected. So where do the others go? Why don't they use those unelected candidates? What a waste of competent human resources. Now I finally figured it out, not exactly now, I figured it some time ago (even though it might be not the correct answer).

Titanic, the ship that was believed to be unsinkable sank during its maiden voyage. Yeah, since it was the greatest ship at the moment, they thought that 1 captain might not be enough to handle that enormous ship, so they assigned 2. It's a great decision, until the Titanic, encountered the iceberg which would eventually sink it.
One of the captain yelled out "Turn left, there are some smaller icebergs on the right side", the other captain said "No, turn right, the current on the left side is too strong, and our position is closer to the right of iceberg, our chance of avoiding it is better". "No, I said turn left, even if we avoid that iceberg, there will be smaller icebergs, the current won't matter, this huge ship will be strong enough". "No, turn right, I'm more experienced than you, and from my experience, I believe right is a more viable choice". So they argued, the ship didn't turn anywhere, it went straight, and by the time they stopped arguing, it was already a hit.

There are 2 kingdoms that are currently on war. One of the kingdoms decides to launch a campaign, to end this war once and for all. This kingdom has 2 grand generals that have won the kingdom so many wars. It can't be said that one of them is better than the other one, they are just so great. The soldiers respect them both equally. Since this is not a usual campaign, the king decides to entrust the campaign to these two generals. As expected, they keep winning the wars. But after so many wars, the amount of soldiers decreases drastically, and they are all physically and mentally tired. Then comes the next war, they are ambushed, they are losing, they are outnumbered.
"Fall back soldiers, we'll do our best to survive for now, we'll strike back next time", one of the general says. "No, we'll fight back till our last breath, we have our pride, and we won't lose", the other responds. "We are outnumbered, our soldiers are tired and worse, we are ambushed, it's obvious that we have to give up this one, there is no point to sacrifice lives for a battle with no chance of winning". "There is no way back, our route of escape has been cut, beside, this is our chance to end the war once and for all, they might outnumber us, but they have lost so many battles, their morale is low, we will win, strike soldiers". Too late generals, as you're arguing, your soldiers are being wiped out. If you have agree to run, you might make it, your soldiers may be able to escape and still alive. Or if you decide to strike back, even though you don’t have the chance of winning, at least you take down some of their soldiers, not die in vain for nothing in confusion.

See my point now? If they had one absolute leader to follow, the outcome of both stories would have been different. That's why we don't need more than one leader. Oh wait, sorry, that's not the story of the Titanic, I screwed up the story, I didn't intend to make fun of unfortunate tragedy. I'm sorry.

However, one absolute leader is not good either, example, Hitler with his vision of totalitarian, autocratic, single party, national socialist dictatorship. He's absolute, and whatever he said, that would be whatever his followers had to do. No, if he listened to some people, if he had some people that would remind him, it would have been different. Maybe a system like pilot and co-pilot is good. The pilot is the legal commander, and in the event of incapacitation of pilot, the co-pilot will assume the command. Co-pilot will assist pilot to fly the aircraft. If unlikely event happens, the co-pilot might give pilot advice or whatever, but the pilot is the one who decides the final decision.

Oh wait, isn't that what my country has been doing? What an idiot I'm, thinking so long for nothing. -_-" But at least I figured out why (excuse).

Read more >>

The Right Thing

I'm sick of being told to do the right things. Honestly, I don't even know what is right and what is wrong. A lot of people just told me to the right thing, but didn't even bother to explain at all. What is right for you, doesn't always right for me. What is right to do now, is not always the right thing to do then.

"I have a very strict family, my parent expect everything to go perfectly. They don't mind hitting their kids at all. Once, I played with my brother in living room and accidentally broke a vase, my parent beat me up so bad that I didn't go to the school the next day because I had bruises all over my body. One day, they bought a very expensive new stove. I couldn't help but to play with it and I broke it somehow. No one saw it. Do I keep silence? So I won't get beaten my parents? But what if, what if the stove explodes when someone tries to use it? Someone might die if I hide it just to save me from being beaten. Do I just go and admit that I broke it, so they know that the stove is broken and don't use it" (Not a true story, I made this up as an example)

Okay, the RIGHT THING to do NOW is telling the truth. But is "telling the truth" always the right thing?

"My dad was a drunkard, smoker, and gambler and had gone through a lot of problems because of that. He got into fight countless times with my mum, he was unhealthy and had respiratory disorder, was broke and almost lost his job. Fortunately, he realised the problems, and decide to quit all of them. Yeah, he quitted. His best friends, who always do those things above with him, were wondering why they never saw my dad again. So they came to visit my dad and my dad told them that he quitted. They said it's gay, and asked him to hang out with them again. They kept forcing him, so he didn't have other choice but to go with them. Dad realised he shouldn't see them again. Today, they come, and I'm the one who open the door. Do I tell them that dad is not at home at this moment, or I tell them that dad is inside?"

Telling the truth is NOT the RIGHT THING to do now, I believe. Oh, did you say that I should have just told them that my dad doesn't want to hang out with them anymore? As if they care if I tell them that. See, the right thing to do then, was not the right thing to do now. For me, I think it is right to lie at that situation, but for you, it is NOT. So, the definition of right thing is not the same for everyone.

"Our country has always been governed by the king. His orders are absolute, if he wants you to be dead, so are you. If he says the tax is increased by 10%, then it is. I can't take this anymore, I want a REVOLUTION". Is revolution the right thing? Revolution requires sacrifices, and that include human's lives. I might think that our country will be better when everyone has the voice for the country, everyone is allowed to give out their opinions and views. But do all the people agree? You might say that you don't want war, you don't want bloodshed, and we can try to find other way out. See the difference? I think revolution is the right thing to do now even that means WAR! But you say, revolution is not what we need right now, the people have suffered enough without war, you want a peaceful way out. You want to try to convince the king.

Did you read the news? About the suicidal bombing? Do you think it is right? No, of course not. So do I, it's not right. But why did they do that? For them, it's right to sacrifice their lives to kill their enemies, or so they believe. It's a form of prayer to their God, to kill who they think are their God's enemies. So who are you or me again? They don't give a damn about what we think is right or not. Their God says so (or they believe their God says so).

That brings us to the root of my discontentment, since everyone has different definitions, when you tell me to do the right thing. Do you mean the right thing by me or by you? If you just tell me to do "the right thing", but don't bother explain, then don't freaking blame me if I don't do what you've expected. If you want to control me, then write me a list of whatever I can do and I can't do. Every single of them. Make it clear, so clear, that there is no need to interpret any of the sentences with my own conscience. Because if I do have to, our interpretations are not always the same.

Not only between you and me, even between myself, there's disagreement with what is right and not. My thought says that I should stop doing this, I will lose anyway, save me the bother of trying, but my feeling, deep inside my heart, says that I should just go for it, doesn't matter if I'm going to lose or whatever, I should give my best shot, and then if I have to lose, I lost proudly. At least I tried and gave my best. I lost because I have limit, I can't reach something further than what my arm can extend!! Or grab more that what my hands can hold.

Still feel like telling me to do the right thing? Okay, I'll do it. I'll say "Shut up, you idiot". I believe that is the right thing to do NOW!!

Read more >>

For "You" Who Know Who I'm Talking About!

For someone who I think is awesome and has a cool name,

I know why you are so lovely, just look at your name, a part of it sounds like "Chan" in Japanese, which has more affectionate term. Check here and here for the references. Not to mention the name that people always used to call you with end with 2 letters which in your language, but I'm not that sure, has something to do with lovely. That does explain why your name is so cool and you're so lovely. (I made this up just for you).

Seriously, that won't be a good reason why you're lovely. It's that kind attitude of yours that matters. You care about people, oh and you're funny, easy to drag toward something, and have funny reactions. (Not anymore, since I screwed up the feeling).
You're still kind nevertheless. I always appreciate people's kindness, sometime I just don't show them. I'm good at contenting my emotion and feeling around people, but when there's no one, I'm just a kiddo. You know what I'm talking about. Before I forget, those above spontaneously made you awesome. You might not think so, but that is how I think about you, and this is sincere.

Umm.. Okay, that seems so nice, and I have used the "keywords". Nothing is perfect and so are you, you're indescribable complicated. I can't understand you at all, one day, you act like this and the other day like that, seems like a few different people to me if you ask, or multiple personalities. You said the reason you like "I will love you, till death do us apart" is because that doesn't exist. Yeah, I know, we (by "we" I mean humans) love things that do not exist. Time machine? Your own wings? Teleportation? Genie? or you name it. Those don't exist, but we will love those if they do. You don't believe in "love forever", or that's what you said. Honestly, I believe you're hopelessly romantic. (I have my reasons, I just won't tell you. Keeping some secrets are good). Yeah, you are not easy to comprehend, not by me or you at least! However, don't you worry about that, "Complicated" is not such a bad thing, at least that makes you interesting, don't you think so? You make people curious about you. They will try to know you better, since they don’t know you well enough. Won't you love movies that have complex plot, the ones that make you want to watch them over again so you'll understand more? Or you'd rather watch a plain boring movie which you'll be able to predict the ending after 10 minutes of watching. You choose. So just be happy with that.

I don't know if this can live up to your standard, or nearly as good as you expected, or you don't understand at all or you don't even read this(which is good), but I kept my promise, didn't I? You said your patience is thin, and you can't wait for very long. Here you are, less than a month I think. I never know I could write something like this, I swear. But, as the matter of fact, I did write something. I used all the words (or all that I could recall). So, do your best shot for your last one, yeah? I know it's just a piece of cake for you. But good luck anyway!! And enjoy the fun after that!! Oh, and thank you, I guess.

I hope this gets to the correct person, I mean the "intended" person does know that this is for the person and the "unintended" people don't think this is for them. Who else this could be for? I don't promise just everyone. I love you...


Sincerely,

You know who.

Read more >>

Life And Choices

I have lived for some years, and I don't know what life is about. I try to find what it is about, but get different answers, so many answers, more than my little ignorant brain can take and comprehend. So, as for now, I'll define life is about choices that I have to take. Everything in my life is about decision. This will explain how the definition comes up.

From morning until night:
~Wake up or stay in the bed for a few more minutes?
~Do I have breakfast or take a shower first?
~What am I going to eat if I choose to have breakfast first?
~Scrap breakfast, I'm late, I'll just have lunch later
~NO!! The bus just went off in front of my eyes, 15 minutes until the next one comes, if I just woke up before and didn't pointlessly stay in the bed, I wouldn't miss the bus. I should have just had breakfast instead of scrapping it, 15 minutes are more than enough.
~Bad decisions, late to school, didn't eat breakfast, hate myself for scrapping breakfast, bad mood!!

In the school:
~Bad mood, can't concentrate studying, doesn't get the teacher's explanation.
~Do I keep trying to concentrate? Or does something fun first to make up my mood? E.g. play games or browse the Internet?
~I'll do that on the break, keep concentrating. "Now I get what you say"
~Oh, new assignment! The teacher is explaining and giving hints for the assignment, lucky I didn't play games.
~Lunch time, do I go alone and eat whatever I want to, or go with classmates and eat whatever they want to?
~Back in class, do I do the assignment? While the hints and explanations are still fresh in my mind, or I listen to the next topic?
~Do the assignment, wow, I finished faster than I expected. Time to listen to the next topic.
~No, I'm tired, do I take a break, or force myself?
~Nice move, tired but satisfying. Good mood!!

After school:
~Do I go home or go somewhere else first?
~If I go somewhere else, where am I going?
~If I go home, what am I going to do?
~Do I eat outside or I'll eat cook something later?
~Okay, go home, figure the rest after that.
~No result!!

Night:
~Play games, chatting, browsing, reading, watching movies?
~Ah, okay, I'm going to see how my friends are doing.
~Arguing and get in a fight with friend. Huh, if I had chosen to play the game, I won't have this problem now.
~Hungry now, but not in the mood to cook, or go outside. If I had chosen to eat outside before, wouldn't be in this hunger.
~Sleeping.
~Bad choices scatter my day!!

So many things to decide in a single day, but the decisions above are just simple examples. Life is more complicated than that, Life has more tough choices. There is no one definite correct decision.

~Exam tomorrow, my choices? Study. Do I have anything else? Yes, procrastinate.
My choice, my decision.
1. I decide to study.
Tomorrow~~
*The exam's so difficult, I can't even answer one properly, not only me, but almost all of my friends. If I knew I wouldn't be able to answer the questions, I might as good as just procrastinate and doing other stuff last night.
*The exam is so easy, I might be able to answer most of them without even have to study at all last night. AND I SPENT MY DAY READING THOSE HUNDREDS OF PAGES!
2. I procrastinate a lot, playing game, chat, etc while reading the book every now and then.
*AAARGGGGHH... The answers for exam are all in the notes, if I have just studied properly, I will be able to do well in the exam.
*Hahaha, piece of cake, the exam is all about opinions. I'm glad my resolution to study wasn't that strong. I had fun, and I did well in the exam. What could be better than that?
!!!Study for the exam, while it is the most viable and logic choice, is not always the right decision!!!

~One of the most important people in my life has terminal illness. Pain and suffering, while there is almost no hope of cure.
1. Keep alive
*Ugg, spending every second of life in pain? I don't want to see the suffering face, this is more than I could take.
*If I was in that position, I'd only have one wish, kill me!
2. Euthanasia?
*What if, the day after I decide putting them to death, happens a miracle, a medical breakthrough and that breakthrough can cure them? I'm the one who choose to do the euthanasia. NO!!!!

~Holiday, yay! But I don't have anything to do, I'm so bored, that's why I write this blog. Other choices to do? A lot, but writing is a new thing to me, the idea of writing never crosses my mind before. So I write.
Benefits:
*I can express my opinions.
*I write down the ideas I have, my ideas have written form. If I forget, I can always go and read again. To tell the truth, I don't even remember what I wrote in the other articles. See how bad my memory is? How many "might be" brilliant ideas have I lost?
*I might improve my writing skill. Maybe in the future, I'll find it easier to write report. Maybe.
*A practice of freedom! Freedom of speech and expressing opinions. Something I never have back then.
Drawbacks:
*People that I'm talking about, or I refer to, or somehow related, might read this, and kill me!! (My teachers in high school, especially)
*My friends might think of me as a weirdo, but I don't mind, if they're my friends, they might already found out before they even read this. There is also possibility that they might never read this at all.
*Who knows that my future employers, decide to not hire me, because they find this blog, read it, and think my ideas are crazy. They don't need more crazy people as they already had enough those employees. I lose my dream jobs because of THIS! Who knows?
!!!I can see the benefits right now, and think writing this seems good. However, in the future, the drawbacks might cost me everything (worst case scenario. I believe that life is not that cruel)!!!

Nobody likes to make difficult decisions. We have all been at a point in our lives where we have to make a difficult decision, and we just don’t know how. We spent hours and hours to sort out the options and simulating the outcomes. But just how we could possibly understand the outcome of something that is unpredictable as life at all?

Read more >>

Loneliness

This is a love story about me and something called loneliness. To tell you the truth, years ago, I hated loneliness, but it loved me (it still loves me now, of course).

"I hate loneliness, but it loves me". In the past, there were a lot of days when I had no one, no one at all. I was isolated, I had no one at all. I really wished that I had someone, anyone, it wouldn't matter. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I didn't. Then here came the loneliness. Obviously, I didn't accept it, I didn't welcome its visit. It embraced me. I did all my best to chase it away from me, but couldn't.

Day by day passed, it still comes to me everyday, even though I clearly said, I HATE IT!! It kept embracing me, and as time passed my attempts to struggle against it weakened. I didn't have the will to do be in opposition to it. My hostility towards it vanished, it just faded. "Whatever, you can do whatever you want to. Anything I do won't affect you anyway, you will keep coming", that's the thought I had.

Finally, after my attempts failed, I began to accept its existence and its love. I didn't feel as much pain as it used to be when loneliness came. Actually, I started to feel good. I can't help, but to fall in love with it. What would you do, if someone still love you, doesn't matter what you do to chase them away? Yeah, I'm so weak, and loneliness came at the right time, at the time when I was fragile the most. I began to love it. I enjoyed the solitude. I fell for it, it won my heart.

Now? I love it with all my might, soul and heart. I don't mind being left alone with loneliness, that'll give me solitude. But still, just because I love it, doesn't mean I have to be with it all the times. Just because I love it, doesn't mean I will spend all my times with it. Just because I love it, doesn't mean I don't need anyone else. Just because I love it, doesn't mean I can't love anything or anyone else. Just because we love each other, doesn't mean we will get along all the times, we will fight and argue every now and then, we will. Just because we love each other, doesn't mean life's over when one of us is gone.

Thank you loneliness for loving me when I have no one. I'm unwanted, and the constant pain from that feeling forges me. Thanks to you, I will feel loved no matter what happens. Everyone in this world might leave me, but when they did, you will come to be with me and I'll be solitude. I'll never be alone anymore (umm... isn't loneliness means I'm all alone? and now, because I have loneliness, I'll never be alone? That's confusing, my fault, to create a metaphor as if loneliness is alive). I love you.

Morals of the story:
1. Don't give up when you really love someone, try and that someone might, doesn't matter how that someone hates and doesn't accept you at the moment, but who knows in the future, love you back.
2. Instead of dreaming and wishing for something you don't have and won't have, why don't you enjoy whatever you have at the moment and be grateful with that. They have theirs and you have yours.
3. You're loved, doesn't matter how you feel at the moment, you just don't notice.
(4. Don't believe me, because, simple, I'm unbelievable.)

Read more >>

Why I Shouldn't Be Happy (Yet)!

Some wise people say “In order to be happy, one must learn to be content”. That seems true. If I think about it, there is no way I’m going to be happy if I try to pursue happiness. Read this. Happiness is not the same for everyone. Some may be seeking for financial in later life, maybe that person wants a beloved partner to build a happy family, or maybe even desire to be famous and acknowledged by everyone. So everyone has their own definition of happiness.

There are reasons why humans should not be “really happy”. Back in the old days, when people were still hunting for food, wearing cloth made from animals, leaves, or even nothing at all. What will happen if they were happy with their condition back then? We might still need to hunt for food now. Discontentment actually encourages people to strive looking for new things and improvement. Discontentment stimulates people to live a better life.

Nevertheless, it also leads to greed! It makes people using any means necessary to achieve what they want. As long as it’s fair and square mean, it should be alright, but, unfortunately, people tend to play unfair. Discontentment, directed to a correct path, leads humans to a better life, directed to wrong path, which is jealousy, leads humans to chaos.

To be happy is to accept whatever I have, and be happy with those. But at the moment, I’m happy to put myself as an unhappy person, so I’ll strive for a better life! That is the reason why happiness is not for me (yet). That is the reason, why I’m such a sad person. Oh wait, I don’t need any reason. I’m just unhappy, and that’s all. I’ll grab whatever I can fair and square, let go whatever I couldn’t even if try my best and be happy with that (with a few exceptions, of course).

Special thank to Robby!

Read more >>

Different Angle!

S : Darling!
H : Yes.
S : Can I trust you?
H : Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person! You're asking a wrong question to a wrong guy...
S : Will you hit me?
H : Obviously! Every chance I get!
S : Will you kiss me?
H : NO! Why are you even asking? That's disgusting. I will never do that to you.
S : Have you ever cheated on me?
H : Of course! Over and over! That's what I live my life for.
S : Umm... Do you still love me?
H : NO! Don't even think about it.
S : I think I'll leave you now. Do you want me to leave?
H : Yes. At last, it was so hard to wait.

Pretty sure, the conversation above is not a nice conversation. But, what are you going to do? That is how it is. Just like life, life is not always pretty, sometimes, it's so bad. Often, people don't have a good day and unhappy with their lives. However, they should try to look at things, in a different angle. Maybe their lives will look better that way. Example?? Sorry, No example.

~ You have to go to work today, but you don't want to, you feel like ditching the work. You're not happy with the current workplace.
!!Looking from different angle. At least you're healthy that day, and are not sick. Some people wake up, early in the morning, and feel pain or even worry if they'll die soon. Oh, you're sick, that's why you don't want to go, be grateful that you're employed then, people who don’t have job and can't find job EXIST!

~ You have inept or disorganized co-workers. You have enough of them. They make you have to work hard to cover theirs.
!!From different angle. Hey, what if all of your co-workers are so great, don't you realise that your chance of promotion is so thin or you might never get one. Not to mention, you might not even get hired in the first place. Oh yeah, if a day, when your workplace has to cut some jobs, won't you be assured that your name will not be first in the list.

~ Your house is small, you don't have much stuff around, and you don't have great TV, computer or car. You're bored.
!!Again, angle. In the past, the king, supposedly the richest in his kingdom, didn't even have the TV you have, he didn't even know what and how great the computer is. Just be grateful, you're born now, not years ago. Oh, small house? At least you don't have to walk far, from your room to kitchen.

~ Back to the conversation above. Have you figured out what you have to do with it. If you had, then, don't read the sentence after this, and do what you think you should do with it.

If you haven't, read it, from bottom to top.

That should make life looks a little bit better!

Read more >>

The Reason

So many things have happened, and it's said that "Everything Happens For a Reason". But, is "The Reason" that important?

~I'm having a bad day. Reason? Oh, I lost my wallet on my way home. The reason you lost my wallet? Oh, I was being negligence. The reason you're being negligence? Well, I think I'll never forget my wallet, since it's so important to me. The reason why you think that way? My wallet is quite big and bulky, I thought I'll feel it, if it somehow, is not in my pocket. The reason you don't feel your wallet when it IS NOT in your pocket? Umm.. Maybe I'm so distracted by something. The reason you were distracted? Cause it was intresting? The reason it's interesting? I just like it. The reason you like it? ....
I lost mine and that was it. Thinking about the reasons, won't bring my wallet back!

~I'm having a good day, I feel like flying right now. Reason? I spent 50c to buy a raffle ticket, and I won a $2000++ speaker. How amazing was that? The reason you bought that ticket? Well, while I was waiting for my friends, they were late, and I was so bored, so yeah, I bought it. The reason you won the prize? I'm lucky, what else? Reason you're lucky? umm.. not sure, but maybe It's because I'm being nice the day before? Reason I'm doing something nice before, but didn't be as lucky as you? ....
I just lucky and won, I don't need a reason for that!

~Umm.. I think I'm in love with her. The reason you think so? My heart beats like crazy, whenever I'm thinking about her, and even more, when I see her and talk to her. Reason your heart beats like that? I told you, I'm in love with her. The reason you love her? She's being nice and stuff to me. Reason she's being nice to you? Maybe she likes me too, or maybe that's how she is, nice. The reason why other girl is nice to you, but you didn't fall for the other girl? ...
I don't need a freaking reason to love her then!

~A : Oh yes! I passed my exams with flying colours.
B : Wow, the reason you got that good results?
A : I paid attention and studied hard for the exams.
B : I think, I paid attention too, and studied hard as well. The reason why yours are better than mine?
A : I'm smarter than you?
B : The reason you're smarter than me?
A : I was born that way?
B : The reason you're born that way?
A : I don't know.
B : The reason why you don't know?
A : Umm.. I just don't know, do I have to know the reason why I don't know? I know there is a reason why I don't know. But that reason is unknown for me.
B : I don't get it, care to explain?
A : There are certain things, that you know, those are what you called known knows.
There are also things that you know, you don't know. Those are what you called known unknowns. That's what I did before, I know that there is a reason, but I just don't know the reason. There are also so called, unknown unknowns, that is, you DO NOT know that you don't know.
B : ????
A : Oh, okay... now I know, why I'm smarter than you!

So, everything might happen for a reason, but I DON'T CARE about the reason. I'll do whatever I like, whenever I feel appropriate. Umm.. reason? Shut up, don't ask me! ~If I want to be happy now, I'm then, no reason needed.
~If I love you, then that's it. The reason you ask? I don't need a reason to love you!
~If I hate you, maybe you're being a jerk to me, but, there are some friends of mine who are jerks, but I love them. So I just hate you! No reason....
~If you feel insulted when reading this. There are a few reasons I can think of, but doesn't matter, I don't have any reason to know your reason.

Confused? Good, that is the reason why I wrote this!

Read more >>

Teacher's Reply

Dear Student,
As your teacher, I'm proud that you honestly tell me what you think to me. You're right, I was once a student, and as a student, I had the same problems as you're. If I really could, I wouldn't care if you're doing fine or not, just as you wished. I'll just leave you alone, but if I really do that will go against policy.

If you're failing again and again, won't your parents say something? If they ask me, why you keep failing? Can I just irresponsibly say "Oh, sorry, sir, sorry ma'am, I can't teach your child, since your child is just a plain idiot". Not to mention that what if they ask you why you're failing again and again. Which one of these, will your parents more likely to believe? "Sorry, Dad and Mum, I'm just a plain idiot", or "My teacher is an idiot and doesn't know how to teach properly".

Have you ever been punished for something you didn't do? I'm not talking about homework here, If you don't do the homework, you deserve the punishment. You know what I'm talking about, If I punish you, because your classmate who is sitting behind you making a lot of noise or your parents take away your game, because your brother spends too much time gaming and didn't do his homework. Will you be happy? Good, cause I don't want to be blame and being said as an Idiot, because of what you've done.

I say try harder all the times, "Nothing is impossible if you try and try, trying harder", or whatever it is, to encourage you, those words are meant to encourage students. What will happen if I say "Oh you, forget it, you will not pass the test", "Emm, yes, but sorry, if it's you, you will say something out of topic, next!" instead of "Try harder, you can do better", how will you, students feel? Or you have a big sport match tomorrow, will you rather me saying "The opponent is strong, but don't worry, all of you are amazing, you can do it, I believe in you" or "Umm.. The opponent is so strong, and you... I don't know. You'll be more likely to lose, but... yeah, go ahead, maybe somehow you can win".

Encouragement is what I'm trying to do. Limit exists, but how are you going to know your limit? If you don't push yourself to see where your limit is? And all you do is thinking "Oh, I can't do that, so forget it", "Oh, this one, maybe, but no, I don't want the risk of wasting my time".

And for whatever issues you have, talk to me! I'm not going to know how you feel, what problems you have or anything if you don't talk to me. Okay, according to you, we speak different languages. That makes me welcome you more to talk to me, so I'll learn a new language and so will you. That's probably how dictionary is first made, group of people who don't speak the same language trying to understand each other.

Yours sincere "Try harder" and "Nothing is impossible" believer,

Teacher

Herli © 2009

Read more >>

Student's Defence 2

Did your teacher ever said to you "You have to participate more in the class", "You, students, should not take what teachers said for granted, teachers are human, sometimes human makes mistakes", "Stop talking to your classmates and pay attention".

Dear Principal,
I know that all the teachers meant well when they asked me to participate more in the class. They care about me, they even realised that I exist, even though I don't participate actively in class. They're right; I should not be so passive, but at the same time were wrong about me. I have my reasons why I don't engage actively in class, but I seem lively when I'm talking to my classmates.

In Physics class, I was taught that light travels faster than sound. Now I know the reason why some teachers appear bright, seem and act so smart, that I believe this class is going to be fun, until I hear them speak. But can I say this to the teacher? I was also told that light travels at certain speed, now I have a question, how fast does the dark travel then? If mankind can measure how fast light and sound travel, is there such a thing like "speed of smell"?.I can't ask the teacher as that would be considered as a mockery, I believe. That kills my creativity.

In History class, I was told that back in some years, there were wars, revolutions, and how great some heroes were. By any means, I don't try to make fun of history at all or trivialise the sacrifices the heroes have made. However, I couldn't recall what I did and ate 2 weeks ago, and these historians could write in such a details, events that had passed for sometimes. I'm pretty sure, they didn't have any time to write the story of how they fight for their freedom on such a chaos day by day. Oh, do you read newspaper daily, Mr. Principal? No, I meant do you ever compare two newspapers? Because I did, the same event sounded so different by two different writers. Different person has different opinions and understanding about something, or have you told some of your stories to your friends or children, you know what I'm talking about, you'd hide some of the embarrassing parts and exaggerated the others. So, wouldn’t you think it’s natural, if I thought History could be biased, and the events told, weren't exactly what happened. Could I discuss this with the teacher? I'd be killed.

In Math class, I was taught that everything multiplied by 0, will result in 0. The teacher seems so sure and very confident with that."If the temperature today is 0 degree, and it's predicted that tomorrow will be twice as cold as today. Then what's the temperature tomorrow?", will the teacher think that I'm trying to make fun of them?

In Religion class, I was taught that God is good and almighty, God knows what "WILL HAPPEN" in the future, and God creates "EVERYTHING". Ug, sir, you don't want to listen to what I think about this.

Do you see my problems now, Mr. Principal? If I speak of all the ideas I have, I'll get to see you very often, don't you reckon? I will get a lot of detentions, as the teachers will deem me problematic student. I can easily share my ideas with my fellow classmates, they won't mind. But with teacher? You tell me. I don't take things for granted, and develop my own ideas in radical way. That's why my involvement in class will be minimised. But at least, I did pay attention, didn’t I?

Yours sincere lost minded and in dilemma,

Student

Herli © 2009

Read more >>

Student's Defence

Did you remember what your teachers said when there were some people failing the tests? Did they said "You had to study harder", "You had to pay attention in class", or "Try harder next time"?.

Dear Teacher,
I believe you were once a student. And I believe that when you were student, you had subjects you were good at, and subjects you weren't. I know, there is a quite different combinations possible, subject you were good at and you liked, subject you were good at but you didn't like, subject you liked but you know it's not for you. Furthermore, there were also subjects that you weren't good at and you hated so much.

Why don't you think the one you're teaching to me now, is the one I don't like and the one I'm worst at? Instead of accusing me being lazy, ignorant, didn't pay attention. Oh, while I'm on it, I want to ask you, did you ever attend a 3 hours speech where you didn't understand the language spoken and didn't feel sleepy? Or will you listen through to a whole Arabic audio book? (I assume you don't understand Arabic). Good, cause now you know how I feel. I don't understand what you taught in the class, it's like we were speaking a different language. With no help at all, do you think I can figure out and able to understand different language?

I know, I'm failing this subject. And I know, you're going to say "try harder", I know how important this subject you THINK it is. I know you will say "You might think this is not important to you now, but in the future, you'll need it”. However, yes, it's a however, do you think every human will have things their ways if they try harder? "Nothing is impossible if you try and try, trying harder" you said?

My dear teacher, I believe humans have their limits, there will be something that they can't do. So instead of doing that, they try to find an alternative. I want to break a rock, do I try and train my fists until the day I'm able to break it barehanded comes, or I get a hammer? Humans always want to be able move as fast as animals, are they able to? No, but they invented vehicle, and with that, they are able to. Oh, this is a sure thing, humans always dream of flying up high to the sky. Can they fly? No, not with their own wings, they faced the reality that they can’t (for now), and get in the vehicle. My point is, even if you wanted me to try hard, I have my limit. I can’t (for now, I don't know what will happen in the future) do as good as you expected. So, rather than trying so hard for yours in expense of other subjects, can't I just have the alternative way?

I also know, you're going to say "instead of spending time writing this rubbish, I should have just spent the time studying hard". But this is what I'm good at; I can't help but to do it. To prove to you, I'm able to do something. And don't you worry if you don't understand. It's fair; I don't understand yours, so there is no obligation for you to understand mine. I don't expect you to understand, since we don't speak the same language.

Your sincere good at nothing but writing rubbish,

Student


Herli © 2009

Read more >>

Is Life Fair?

There will be a day when you think "Life is not fair". If that thought hasn't come to you, don't worry, it will soon.

Unless you're the type of people that makes others think life is not fair, that is the super lucky person, who do little to none effort, but have everything people dream of having.
For example:
~Born in a very wealthy family as a single heir
~So talented, that you can do that particular thing easily, while others spend their time training and trying.
~So good looking until the extend of all you have to do is smile, and others will do your stuff for you.

However, if you work hard to be what you are right now. You have every single rights to tell others that say "you're so lucky, life is not
fair" to you, "screw you, I spent my time, practicing and trying, while you're just there, daydreaming, doing nothing. And now you're saying
that I'm lucky? Face the reality!"

Oh, that's a little bit off-topic. Do you think life is fair?

~Why do you have plenty of food that you can waste the food, and I don't have any food to eat or have to eat what you have wasted?

~Why are you worrying about "What will I eat today? I feel like chicken, but I want to eat the sweet & sour pork, this is tough. I envy those people who can decide what they're going to eat easily.", and I'm worrying about "Will I even eat today?"

~Why are you so good at something, for instance, sports, but decide to do something else as your career and waste your talents, and I who really love that something(sports, in this instance) don't have the talents to.

~Why do you understand that much? You read it once and it's just casually, while I scrutinise and try so hard to understand, but still don't get it.

~Why do I get a "B" while you get an "A+"? I study at least three times more than you do.

~Why do you love "A"? "A" is a jerk and player. "A" doesn't care about you at all. While I love you so much, and have sacrificed everything to make you happy.

~Why you were born so wealthy, that all you do are just wasting money and time. While I was born in a so poor family? I don't even able to go to school. How I'm going to change my life? Without going to school, obviously, I won't be able to
get a really good job. Even worse, I don't even able to dress properly that I will look elegant enough to convince the future employers to give me a good job. Do I have to remain poor for the rest of my life?

~Why do I have to be infected by this terminal illness? I work and study hard, I behave good in society, I take care of my health, I watch what I eat, I don't smoke and drink. I've done everything so my future will be bright, but now I have to die soon.

~Why do you get paid more than I do? We practically do the same works. Sometimes, I even do more than you do.

~Okay, so you think everyone is equal. I'm an unemployed and so lazy, I don't want to work at all. All I do is waiting for goverment to give me allowance, or asking others for some money. Sure, I don't contribute anything to "this" country. And here you have "Mr.Genius", he's a big tax payer, he also currently in a very important project, trying to solve energy crisis. This project will save "this" country from energy crisis, not only that, it might lead "this" country ahead of others. Without him, you can consider this project rubbish. So, the project is nearly finished. Somehow, one day, I'm arguing with "Mr.Genius" and then he beat me so bad, I need to be hospitalised. I'm pretty sure, I've done anything wrong to him. Now, will you treat me equally and jail "Mr.Genius" for a year? or you will just blame me for everything and accuse me for a crime I didn't commit. No one cares if you choose to blame me. You decide.

~And so on

There is no fairness in life if I look at it with this perspective. However, I do know this, every job that already existed, exists because there is a need for them to exist.
~Farmers, breeders, gardeners, etc. to do the agriculture so we'll have food to eat
~Teachers, writers, authors, etc. to try to teach, educate, and pass down the information to others and next generations.
~Scientists, enventors, engineers, to develop and invent things so human being will have a better life.
etc.

So if everyone is the same, who's going to do those jobs then? No one. So that's why everyone has their own roles. Even if you're the usual guys who litter in the streets, "GOOD ON YOU!", without you, the streets will be very clean, and those street cleaners will lose their jobs.

Herli © 2009

Read more >>