Life And Choices

I have lived for some years, and I don't know what life is about. I try to find what it is about, but get different answers, so many answers, more than my little ignorant brain can take and comprehend. So, as for now, I'll define life is about choices that I have to take. Everything in my life is about decision. This will explain how the definition comes up.

From morning until night:
~Wake up or stay in the bed for a few more minutes?
~Do I have breakfast or take a shower first?
~What am I going to eat if I choose to have breakfast first?
~Scrap breakfast, I'm late, I'll just have lunch later
~NO!! The bus just went off in front of my eyes, 15 minutes until the next one comes, if I just woke up before and didn't pointlessly stay in the bed, I wouldn't miss the bus. I should have just had breakfast instead of scrapping it, 15 minutes are more than enough.
~Bad decisions, late to school, didn't eat breakfast, hate myself for scrapping breakfast, bad mood!!

In the school:
~Bad mood, can't concentrate studying, doesn't get the teacher's explanation.
~Do I keep trying to concentrate? Or does something fun first to make up my mood? E.g. play games or browse the Internet?
~I'll do that on the break, keep concentrating. "Now I get what you say"
~Oh, new assignment! The teacher is explaining and giving hints for the assignment, lucky I didn't play games.
~Lunch time, do I go alone and eat whatever I want to, or go with classmates and eat whatever they want to?
~Back in class, do I do the assignment? While the hints and explanations are still fresh in my mind, or I listen to the next topic?
~Do the assignment, wow, I finished faster than I expected. Time to listen to the next topic.
~No, I'm tired, do I take a break, or force myself?
~Nice move, tired but satisfying. Good mood!!

After school:
~Do I go home or go somewhere else first?
~If I go somewhere else, where am I going?
~If I go home, what am I going to do?
~Do I eat outside or I'll eat cook something later?
~Okay, go home, figure the rest after that.
~No result!!

Night:
~Play games, chatting, browsing, reading, watching movies?
~Ah, okay, I'm going to see how my friends are doing.
~Arguing and get in a fight with friend. Huh, if I had chosen to play the game, I won't have this problem now.
~Hungry now, but not in the mood to cook, or go outside. If I had chosen to eat outside before, wouldn't be in this hunger.
~Sleeping.
~Bad choices scatter my day!!

So many things to decide in a single day, but the decisions above are just simple examples. Life is more complicated than that, Life has more tough choices. There is no one definite correct decision.

~Exam tomorrow, my choices? Study. Do I have anything else? Yes, procrastinate.
My choice, my decision.
1. I decide to study.
Tomorrow~~
*The exam's so difficult, I can't even answer one properly, not only me, but almost all of my friends. If I knew I wouldn't be able to answer the questions, I might as good as just procrastinate and doing other stuff last night.
*The exam is so easy, I might be able to answer most of them without even have to study at all last night. AND I SPENT MY DAY READING THOSE HUNDREDS OF PAGES!
2. I procrastinate a lot, playing game, chat, etc while reading the book every now and then.
*AAARGGGGHH... The answers for exam are all in the notes, if I have just studied properly, I will be able to do well in the exam.
*Hahaha, piece of cake, the exam is all about opinions. I'm glad my resolution to study wasn't that strong. I had fun, and I did well in the exam. What could be better than that?
!!!Study for the exam, while it is the most viable and logic choice, is not always the right decision!!!

~One of the most important people in my life has terminal illness. Pain and suffering, while there is almost no hope of cure.
1. Keep alive
*Ugg, spending every second of life in pain? I don't want to see the suffering face, this is more than I could take.
*If I was in that position, I'd only have one wish, kill me!
2. Euthanasia?
*What if, the day after I decide putting them to death, happens a miracle, a medical breakthrough and that breakthrough can cure them? I'm the one who choose to do the euthanasia. NO!!!!

~Holiday, yay! But I don't have anything to do, I'm so bored, that's why I write this blog. Other choices to do? A lot, but writing is a new thing to me, the idea of writing never crosses my mind before. So I write.
Benefits:
*I can express my opinions.
*I write down the ideas I have, my ideas have written form. If I forget, I can always go and read again. To tell the truth, I don't even remember what I wrote in the other articles. See how bad my memory is? How many "might be" brilliant ideas have I lost?
*I might improve my writing skill. Maybe in the future, I'll find it easier to write report. Maybe.
*A practice of freedom! Freedom of speech and expressing opinions. Something I never have back then.
Drawbacks:
*People that I'm talking about, or I refer to, or somehow related, might read this, and kill me!! (My teachers in high school, especially)
*My friends might think of me as a weirdo, but I don't mind, if they're my friends, they might already found out before they even read this. There is also possibility that they might never read this at all.
*Who knows that my future employers, decide to not hire me, because they find this blog, read it, and think my ideas are crazy. They don't need more crazy people as they already had enough those employees. I lose my dream jobs because of THIS! Who knows?
!!!I can see the benefits right now, and think writing this seems good. However, in the future, the drawbacks might cost me everything (worst case scenario. I believe that life is not that cruel)!!!

Nobody likes to make difficult decisions. We have all been at a point in our lives where we have to make a difficult decision, and we just don’t know how. We spent hours and hours to sort out the options and simulating the outcomes. But just how we could possibly understand the outcome of something that is unpredictable as life at all?